Blah

I had a blog all written up, but it went something like blah blah, feel sorry for me. Blah blah, I'm broke. blah blah nobody cares.
There's the coles notes version....I need a life.
to sum it up here's how I feel...only two of those don't apply to me and I've been depressed ever since I read it. I don't take credit for that post and you click it at your own discretion. There are some vulgarities.

To Road Trip or Not to Road Trip

Ok...so I figured if I wrote this all down, it would make it easier to decide what it is I'm going to do. I've been having an internal battle deciding whether or not I want to make this trip. The basic gyst of it is that I am supposed to go to Vancouver-ish (it's all Vancouver down there) to spend some time with my Ex-mother-in-law and her daughter and children. Ok...breathe...that sounds complicated and it is. I was never on bad terms with them per se, but there has been about a two to three year blackout of communication. No talking, no facebooking, no nothing. Somehow...still on good terms. Anyway...pros first...I like to think positive...

• I could use a road trip
• The boys get a chance to spend some time with their grandmother

cons...I'm not doing so good

• The gas money might put me out for next month
• I'm done maternity leave next month and this could be somewhat dangerous
• If I take this trip, I don't get to visit my mom this summer
• I get anxiety attacks making left turns in Prince George...need I say more
• I don't know the roads which makes me uncomfortable
• I'm driving alone
• I have a lot of vehicle maintenance that needs to be done before ANY roadtrip $$$$$
• I don't know how comfortable I am staying at the ex-in-laws
• FOUR KIDS!!! Lord tunderin jesus...four kids for 12 hours...
• No motivation to do this alone and it's not like I can take a friend.
• I have an inspection to complete on my house
• I have windows being installed by the property manager sometime this month

Am I really a horrible person if I just drive them down to Cache Creek and say I can't do this? Secretly I might add...where were the phone calls on birthdays and Christmas...If I'm such an important part of your family, why has there been no contact? This doesn't make me a bad person...I need to say no and I need to not be a pushover about it.

McDonalds is an Evil Corporation that Killed the Unicorns...true story

I normally don't complain about a little bit of crap service here and there. For example, yesterday, I bought tea from Tim Hortons and made a pleasant phone call:
Me: Hi there I just came through the drive through about fifteen minutes ago and my tea bag was broken leaking leaves into the cup.
Tims rep: I'm so sorry, we'll try to fix that right away can I take your name and when you get a chance you can come in for a free replacement?

That's how it should be. A standard apology, a solution and we close the case. Like a pro, this girl handled it. Guaranteed she wasn't management either. I dealt with a frontline worker to get my problem solved and I didn't have to get angry and we were both very polite.  Done no big deal.

Just over a week ago I went to McDonalds for breakfast as I had been exhausted from going back and forth to the hospital for a friend and didn't want to make breakfast. I ordered for Ken, four kids and me. That's a decent sized order. I payed at one window waited an eternity to get to the next and then got my order. The bag seemed small so I asked "Is that everything?" She confirmed that yes it was and that she threw some jam in as well for the biscuits.
Awesome, time to go home and feast on pancakes and biscuits...yum. I get home and my suspicions of the light bag were confirmed. Only two pancakes were in the bag. WHAT!??? More than half my order is missing. I phone in as follows:
Me: Hi I just came through the drivethrough and more than half my order is missing after I confirmed that it was all there.
Male: Ok just come in and get the rest.

I hang up phone and I'm a little ticked off. Now I get to explain to my kids they don't get to eat breakfast right away. Go back to McDonalds and walk into the store. Thank God there's only two people ahead of me. Nope that doesn't make a difference I wait 20 effin minutes  for two people. I watched these orders, they weren't big! Finally I get in line and hand the girl my receipt and explain what happened and ask politely if I can get it fixed. After explaining to her about three times she finally understands what's missing. I wait....and wait....and wait.

half an hour  later

I look at the girl when no one is there and finally lose my temper a bit
"Is this being taken care of because my kids are waiting at home and my patience is wearing very thin?"
about five minutes later some guy drops a bag on the counter and says
"have a nice day." and walks away
Are you serious? No apology anywhere? The manager watched the entire thing happen! This location is notorious for their HORRIBLE service, but this was the worst I'd ever received. I almost wanted to cry, but instead I checked the bag for everything and then drove off and went home to complain to corporate.
Made that phone call and told the woman the entire story. She was absolutely friendly and filed the report as asked and said that I would hear back from...get this....The store manager within 72 hours. Well, more than a week has passed and not a single F&*# was given. I called back and the same woman filed ANOTHER report.
I refuse to return to McDonalds until I receive an apology at the very least. I'm not asking for free food, because I don't want a reason to have to go back there. I want a freaking apology. That's it. I don't care if it's hokey or corny or even fake. Just say SORRY! Jerks...

Things one should never have to say to their kids

**I  take no credit for this whatsoever**
A woman went on facebook and started a poll asking her friends "what's the weirdest thing you've ever had to say to your kids?" The sad part is, I've said a lot of these! The results are as follows:

• Next time you decide to wipe your bum with my toothbrush, please tell me before I use it.
• We don't blow up the "balloons" that are in Mommy and Daddy's nightstand!
• Get your finger out of my butt. Right now.
• You're grounded from reading for the rest of the day. Now go play!
• Why is there a potato in your underwear?
• No, I won't help you get it out. Once you stick it up there, you have to wait until you go to the bathroom again.
• I don't know why those dogs are stuck together like that... Look over there at that cool cow!
• No, there is not a watermelon in my pants. That's my butt.
• Did you really just wipe a booger on my arm?
• Why is your sister outside naked and why are you wearing her clothes and your clothes?
• I'm not going to let you have sword fights anymore if you can't keep your pee in the toilet.
• We do not use poop to glue paper together!
• Stop peeing in the plants!
• I know it seems fun to put peanut butter on the roof of your mouth and let the dog lick it off...
• Why does this room smell like poop, and where are your pants?
• Don't play with my boobs in public!
• Stop trying to pee into each other's noses.
• There is no accident so bad you need to throw your underwear away instead of letting me wash them. Now let me see them. Okay, you made a good call.
• Did you pour honey all over the cat?!
• Next time put clothes on before you leave the house.
• Get your naked butt off of your brother's face!
• You're lucky the cat isn't dead. We do not put animals in the dryer!
• I know it sounded scary, but Daddy and I were just wrestling and goofing around in there.
• Who hid their scrambled eggs under the couch cushion? And how long have they been there?
• No more spinach until you eat a slice of pizza.
• Honey, it's not good to point at other people's private parts and it's also not good to guess whether they're big or small inside.
• You are not the hair-cutter. Get those scissors away from your sister's hair!
• You can call your penis whatever you want. Yes, you can call him Little Buddy.
• Did you really just take a bite out of my deodorant?
• I don't care if cats do it. Stop pooping in the sandbox.
• WHY exactly are you trying to make your feet stick together with peanut butter?
• Don't chew on your toenail clippings. No you did NOT see mommy do it, too.
• When mommy accidentally farts at the store, next time let's pretend like we didn't hear anything. The whole world doesn't need to know who did it.
• No! I don't want to smell inside your butt!
• Let go of your brother's weenie.
• Will you please label the jars with the word "fart" next time so I don't open them? And why are you capturing your farts in jars?
• Well, what did you think the dog was going to do if you stuck your bare butt right in his face?

Random

Due to an inability to remember the correct name on demand, I will hereby refer to my children each as "hey you" This should alleviate the stress on the brain of trying to do a simple task and then referring to one child as jaydilleldileigh. It usually ends up being "You!...yeah you. You know what you did. Now stop it!"
Sometimes I wonder if my kids take me seriously when I can't even pronounce their name. Ger sits there laughing, meanwhile I'm stewing in my own anger of trying to just spew out ONE STINKING NAME. So I look over and say "What are you laughing at?" She looks back "That's James mom..." (snickers)
I know...oh believe me I know. I just can't seem to get that communication from brain to mouth. Some day....some day.

Tech Support

Thirty minutes...thirty MISERABLE minutes this morning that I could not check my facebook or email. This is my routine! I have breakfast, grab coffee and go peruse the interwebs. That's how I do things. If this order is disturbed, wrath be incurred!
Anyway, so I was on the phone this morning with tech support and had quite the chuckle with the guy on the line while he tried to convince me that the problem was the jack. I told him it's working fine and I'm not moving it. This would require me putting my wifi in the kitchen. Not the most logical place, but definitely doable. Either way, I told him I was pretty sure that wasn't the problem and to run several other diagnostics before resorting to this instead.
While on hold (for more than 20 of those 30 minutes) I got to thinking..."what if everything had lousy tech support?" I mean EVERYTHING
This could be hilarious
Kid doesn't sleep: "Have you tried laying him down"
Door won't unlock: "Have you tried jiggling the keys?"
Pasta not cooking fast enough: "Have you tried turning on the element?"
House is cold: "Have you tried turning on the heat?"
It seems every time I call tech support, they have to ask. "Have you tried unplugging it?" I guess there are people who don't try that, but still. I did everything I could here from unplugging to troubleshooting on my end. ***SIGH***
Oh well...I have internet again and this pleases me greatly. I will appease the interweb Gods by posting this blog.

Mothers Day

I don't have much to rant on other than Mothers Day is coming up on us quickly, this Sunday! Last year was so exciting for me because I went to the tea party at Gerileighs school. I remember bawling my eyes out drinking a cup of "punch" (yes the quotations are required, because I'm really not sure what it was.) and holding a macaroni picture that said "I love my mom cause she gives me candy" Atta girl Ger.
I get to do that again next year. This Sunday is a day of relaxation and bliss....for someone else. Anyway, I will probably be doing what I do, but I remembered my mama this year and also my adopt-a-mom. I didn't do much, but I acknowledged and did something. That counts more than you know! Most of us don't care if we get something extravagant we just wanna know our babies love us. My chicks are all still in the nest so I guess it's a lot easier for me.
In a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is don't forget mom this year.  Whether it's a phone call, a card or a bouquet of castrated plants, just don't forget her. Your mama loves you unconditionally! Not because she has to, because she wants to. Who else is capable of loving you after cleaning up your messes and listening to all your problems for 18 years! MOM!

I love you Mom!

Oh that's good stuff!