Random

Due to an inability to remember the correct name on demand, I will hereby refer to my children each as "hey you" This should alleviate the stress on the brain of trying to do a simple task and then referring to one child as jaydilleldileigh. It usually ends up being "You!...yeah you. You know what you did. Now stop it!"
Sometimes I wonder if my kids take me seriously when I can't even pronounce their name. Ger sits there laughing, meanwhile I'm stewing in my own anger of trying to just spew out ONE STINKING NAME. So I look over and say "What are you laughing at?" She looks back "That's James mom..." (snickers)
I know...oh believe me I know. I just can't seem to get that communication from brain to mouth. Some day....some day.

Tech Support

Thirty minutes...thirty MISERABLE minutes this morning that I could not check my facebook or email. This is my routine! I have breakfast, grab coffee and go peruse the interwebs. That's how I do things. If this order is disturbed, wrath be incurred!
Anyway, so I was on the phone this morning with tech support and had quite the chuckle with the guy on the line while he tried to convince me that the problem was the jack. I told him it's working fine and I'm not moving it. This would require me putting my wifi in the kitchen. Not the most logical place, but definitely doable. Either way, I told him I was pretty sure that wasn't the problem and to run several other diagnostics before resorting to this instead.
While on hold (for more than 20 of those 30 minutes) I got to thinking..."what if everything had lousy tech support?" I mean EVERYTHING
This could be hilarious
Kid doesn't sleep: "Have you tried laying him down"
Door won't unlock: "Have you tried jiggling the keys?"
Pasta not cooking fast enough: "Have you tried turning on the element?"
House is cold: "Have you tried turning on the heat?"
It seems every time I call tech support, they have to ask. "Have you tried unplugging it?" I guess there are people who don't try that, but still. I did everything I could here from unplugging to troubleshooting on my end. ***SIGH***
Oh well...I have internet again and this pleases me greatly. I will appease the interweb Gods by posting this blog.

Mothers Day

I don't have much to rant on other than Mothers Day is coming up on us quickly, this Sunday! Last year was so exciting for me because I went to the tea party at Gerileighs school. I remember bawling my eyes out drinking a cup of "punch" (yes the quotations are required, because I'm really not sure what it was.) and holding a macaroni picture that said "I love my mom cause she gives me candy" Atta girl Ger.
I get to do that again next year. This Sunday is a day of relaxation and bliss....for someone else. Anyway, I will probably be doing what I do, but I remembered my mama this year and also my adopt-a-mom. I didn't do much, but I acknowledged and did something. That counts more than you know! Most of us don't care if we get something extravagant we just wanna know our babies love us. My chicks are all still in the nest so I guess it's a lot easier for me.
In a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is don't forget mom this year.  Whether it's a phone call, a card or a bouquet of castrated plants, just don't forget her. Your mama loves you unconditionally! Not because she has to, because she wants to. Who else is capable of loving you after cleaning up your messes and listening to all your problems for 18 years! MOM!

I love you Mom!

Oh that's good stuff!

Revenge on my kids Some Day

Kids are jerks. You know it, I know it, nobody says it, because they are tender and "innocent" They have no regard for anyone. In the end they pretty much redeem themselves, so I can't blame them too much. So here I was thinking, I can not wait until I am old and senile. I am going to mess with their heads so much, just to get revenge.
Short list of things I'm going to do.

• Yell something completely inaudible and then whine when they don't understand.
• Partially poop myself and then leave the rest smeared somewhere in the bathroom. Possibly under the bath matt so that it takes longer to find it.
• Come over and then jump on their couch and ask whats for dinner and complain if it's not mac and cheese.
• Wake up at 2, 3, 4 and 5 and repeatedly beg for breakfast until they give up on sleep.
• Climb the counters and just sit there until someone sees me then run away laughing maniacally.
• Take the last page out of the book they are reading and take it home.When they ask about it, I will tell them I REALLY liked it and wanted it.
• Find the tissue box and rip all the tissues out and leave them on the floor. 
• Ask for a glass of water, take one sip and when they aren't looking dump the rest on the floor.
• Sing the alphabet loudly and off key but miss random letters or just repeat the same letter

The most important key to pulling this all off and getting away with it. Is to say "I love you." in the most sincere voice. If not for that, it doesn't really work.