Road Rage-a-holic

Today was a pretty boring and bland day. So the only thing I got going on is my completely unwarranted road rage. I'm probably one of the worst for this. I usually just yell like a coward with my window rolled up, so they can't hear me gripe and whine about how they didn't use their turn signal. Then I got to thinking I love other peoples road rage...it is awesome. Let's go through the stages of road rage shall we?

Stage 1: One hand off the stearing wheel

 

Note how the driver here is mildly flustered and has one hand off the steering wheel. Her body language depicts a sentence one might construe as "Really? Did you get your license from a cracker jack box bud?"

Stage Two: Both hands off the wheel 

note that this guy is pretty angry. Windows are still rolled up, but even his passenger is flipping us off. (see how nice I am? I even censored it for you. Oh MSPaint you are like the poor mans photoshop. I got mad skills I tell ya...I digress) One might think this guy is yelling some pretty profane words

Stage 3 OMG HER HEADS OUT THE WINDOW!!!!

This girl clearly wants you to know she's had it with you and she is mad. This is about the point that I'm cowering in my seat, reaching over nonchalantly to lock the doors and pray to whatever god will listen that the light will turn green before she does.

Stage Four: Smoothing out the wrinkles of an argument with a tire iron
I'm just gonna say right now...pictures are not necessary for this one. I've only seen this in movies and hope I never encounter someone this pissed. I imagine that one of these days I'll get in a minor fender bender with some guy who used Daddy's dollars to get a lift kit done on his pansy little Ford truck and has a tire iron that he thinks is a conversation piece and not a tool!

Anyway, so I fall under the cowards category of road rage. I usually start with a little bit of "Did you see that?" followed by a "What a *insert profanity*" Followed by a case of the "I shoulda's" You know what I'm talking about. I shoulda flipped him off. I shoulda sped up. I shoulda slowed down. I shouldna let him pass. I shoulda boxed him in.